It’s not easy being in the glare of the media spotlight. There are highs, there are lows, and the tension gets quite unbearable. Just ask Bono. And he doesn’t have to share a home, workplace or watercraft with Ma Beese.But the old girl has been on a bit of a rollercoaster recently, so who can blame her if she turns a bit old-fashioned when one minute your dulcet tones are being broadcast across the airwaves, and the next you find your lil’ ol’ place on the riverbank being studiously ignored by a so-called guide to summer pubs? And then it all turns round again with a quite superlamative review of your first Gourmet Fish Supper night! No wonder she doesn’t know if she’s tossing or spinning (it’s all about the salads, you dirty buggers).
But let’s begin at the beginning: a couple of weeks ago, Beeses played host to BBC Radio Bristol when they stopped here as part of their Canal Boat week. As it happened, we were having our regular quiz night, and so the Beeb decided to send down a team featuring presenters Nancy Jackson, Ben Prater and Keith Warmington. Somewhat implausibly, it turned out that this was Keith’s first ever pub quiz, not a bad feat for someone who’s been in as many pubs as he has (all in the course of his job, naturally). Nevertheless, they managed a highly creditable second place, being unable to defeat the intellectual onslaught delivered by the Friends of Troopers Hill team (they usually let the others win but there was no charity on that evening!).And before all the fun kicked off, Nancy insisted on getting Ma and Pa’s view of the world on tape, firstly in an interview with Pa about the ferry and Beeses in general, and then Ma was interviewed by Ben, during which she managed to namecheck just about every supplier we use (she is confident that the cheques are in the post...you know who you are...). Pa will try and get these interviews to play on the web site, just as soon as he’s figured out where the winding handle on his PC’s music box is.
No sooner was that over than the Guardian/Observer guide to summer pubs was published. When the scones started flying, staff and regulars alike suspected something was up, and lo, it turned out that while six of Bristol’s finest hostelries were listed, Beeses was not among them! I thought it said summer pubs? Imagine Ma’s, erm, surprise...but regular readers will know that Ma and a challenge go together like a horse and bucket, or something, and so she has redoubled her efforts in order that her baby can’t be ignored next year. But keep the knives out of reach, just in case...
“Hey ho, it’s early days” she mused, even from the slough of her despair (well, she was near Windsor at the time). Ma knew that she couldn’t let this affect her, there were too many punters who do know the truth and who still need taking care of. And so it was that she turned her attention to her first Gourmet Fish Supper. Much to her delight, this had sold out two weeks beforehand, so the pressure was on to deliver.And as you can see from the Evening Post’s review, deliver we did! Ma and Pa are very proud of their staff, who got nine out of ten for the service, and especially Matt, the “talented young chef” (but you already knew that), who clearly impressed a reviewer known not to pull his punches if things aren’t up to scratch. The Guardian? The Observer?? Who dey???
If you want to book yourself in for the next one on Wednesday 1 July, well, you’re too late as it’s already full, so you won’t be able to enjoy Cornish mackerel fillets with horseradish sour cream, followed by tuna steak with black olive and caper salsa and a mixed warm bean salad, and a summer pudding. So get your reservations in now for Wednesday 5 August, when we’ll be serving salmon terrine followed by sea bass and roasted vegetables. It kicks off at 7:30 p.m., and as before, the price is £22.95 a head for three courses (“this was exceptional value”), and you can book your place with a deposit of £10 each. On the last one of the season (Wednesday 3 September), we’ll be serving seafood paella, and we’re also taking bookings for that one as well.
Not much happening round these parts then, so to make up for it, the boat thought it had been too reliable so far this year, and it decided it should remind us not to take it for granted. To be fair, it picked its moment well. Take one Sunday afternoon, add a hot sun and sprinkle the garden liberally with thirsty punters. Ready? BANG!One fried head gasket, a cloud of smoke, and a gallon of oil later, we were all reminiscing about how boat troubles had once been a regular feature of life at Beeses. Oh, how we laughed. At that point, two things happened: Ma got straight onto our good friend Trevor the Lockeeper, who was down at Beeses within an hour with an electric outboard to help us get people back to the Conham Road car park.
But what to do in the meantime? Well, the second thing that happened was that Sam (who, it should be pointed out, works incredibly hard on the boat on busy days without seeing another member of staff for hours at a time) and Pa broke out the emergency paddles and started paddling people across. To the general amusement of, well, just about everyone really. However, not everyone was laughing (well, Pa wasn't, obviously). It so happened that a few members of the Bristol Empire Dragon Boat Racing Club were in at the time, and while they took predictable delight in the turn of events along with everyone else, after a (very) short time, it all became a little too much to bear, and they realised that an intervention was required.And so it was that for almost an hour, until Trevor showed up to lend his outboard again, quite a few lucky visitors were returned to the Conham side of the river at a considerably faster speed than by Pa and poor Sam (who bore his load with fortitude, if not a little reluctance...). After all, it wasn’t as if the dragon boat guys had much to do the following day, like a race from Hereford to Gloucester, ooh no...
So what else have you missed? Well, maybe you didn’t miss our second Butcombe Day, when we were knocking out the magnificent Butcombe Bitter for £2 a pint, Butcombe sausage hot dogs for £1.00, with Straight Shooter on hand to help the medicine go down with some cracking classic rock (they’re back on Friday 7 August). Perhaps too, you didn’t miss Captain Barnacle’s Pirate Cabaret. This turned out to be a riot, with fifty people showing up in pirate costume for groansome piratical jokes, to marvel at the Captain’s amazing knife-throwing act, and to jig along to the Surfin’ Turnips (you read that right). The Captain will be returning for a children’s show on the afternoon Wednesday 12 August - expect many of the same jokes, with perhaps a little less bawdiness!